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Why do Russian and Ukrainian women divorce?
At the CQMI Agency we often talk about the divorce of members, who after a battle path arrive at the agency under sometimes difficult conditions, because they have to face the eyes of their entourage when they go in search of a wife in the Eastern countries. We are talking less about women members mainly from Russia and Ukraine, and men are probably interested in knowing why Russian and Ukrainian women divorce, what are the reasons, the number of divorces and the situation of marriage in the North Slavic countries? These questions are interesting for men who often lack information about Slavic women, especially because of their ignorance of the Russian and Ukrainian language. In this article from CQMI, we will try to enlighten you through articles and statistics from the Russian and Ukrainian press.
Divorce in Russia and Ukraine is constant progress but mitigated.
Divorce is constantly increasing in Western countries but also in Eastern Europe and throughout the world. In the mid-1950s, the Soviet couple was not very divorced, already because of the influence of the Communist Party and its ability to create problems for couples who were not models in the standards of the Soviet Union. The party was able to take away your work, your housing and put pressure on fickle men or women, and divorce was seen as a perversion of the capitalist system and if it was understood that divorce was possible, it should only be pronounced in rare cases and inherent to exceptional situations. Today, the divorce coefficient (annual divorce rate) is 10 in Canada (10 marriages dissolved per 1,000 each year), but it was 0.5 in the USSR in the 1950s, 5.9 in Russia (in 2002), and 4.1 in that same country (in 2016). In Canada at present, 45% of marriages pronounced will be dissolved sooner or later. In Russia these figures are lower, but significant, in the order of one in three marriages that will be dissolved in the provinces, compared to one in two marriages in the capital, Moscow. In Canada, the situation seems dramatic, with an article indicating that the chance of divorce for married couples since the 1990s has risen to 67%, a sad record[1]. In this article, the author also gives the reasons for divorces in Canada: namely, gender differences (?), relationship dynamics, doubled life expectancy, declining religious practices, loosening of morals, "sexual" freedom, government laws and finally what he calls "philosophy of the here and now". However, Russia is in a difficult situation, as Russian citizens divorce more than they marry, with about 60% of the marriages celebrated in previous decades having been dissolved. However, it is important to say that in Ukraine and Russia, the divorce procedure is very fast, inexpensive (between 200 and 400 euros, compared to an average of $7,000 in Canada) and therefore facilitates divorce.
[1] Record beaten by Belgium in 2014, this divorce rate was 69%, noticed at 71% in 2008, but Switzerland is a very good student, with a divorce rate of only 41.5%, with a country that allows divorce without the presence of lawyers (29% of cases in Switzerland in 2005).
The reasons for divorce in Ukraine and Russia.
It is no secret, it is above all the addictions of Russian and Ukrainian men that cause divorce in a Slavic couple... In 2016, this proportion reached 40% of divorces pronounced in a Russian couple and involving... alcohol, a national scourge both in Russia and in Ukraine. The other reasons are the disappearance of the feeling of being in love, the infidelity in the couple and finally the fact that the man cannot provide for the needs of the couple, the family and the children, either as a consequence of the addictions of the man (or sometimes of the couple), or by character inconsistency, laziness, dissolute life or other. It should also be noted that some of the men who cause divorce also mention such reasons, such as the propensity to spend the couple's money, the lack of effort in maintaining the house. As for women, in the demographic exception of a huge number of women compared to the number of men, male infidelity is therefore devastating. In this society in Ukraine or Russia, the man has the possibility if he was not happy in his home to find another woman easily. As long as he is independent, has a job, a little money, no addiction, his ability to seduce many women will be great, even more so if he has a neat appearance, to which Slavic women are very sensitive (elegance in clothing, hairdressing, perfumes, attitude in society). In a detailed Russian article based on data from Russian news agencies, it is said that sociologists also explain divorce by an increase in individualism, here referred to as independence. In Russia as in Ukraine, like the West, people have become more free of morals, less supportive, less attentive, more open to certain questions, but also more friable to selfishness, to behaviors related to consumer society, to infidelity, to superficiality, to smoothing values or worse to the decrease in social standards. It is precisely the change in values, however not yet at the level of the West, that has made the nest of divorce, but as we have seen, if you marry less in Ukraine and Russia, you divorce much more, but in comparative proportions, Russia and Ukraine remain with numbers half as low as those observed in Canada. Despite this, the reasons are very different, the main reasons for divorce in couples in Canada are the deterioration of the relationship and the love that passes (here as in the East), the age difference that widens gaps in activity over time, boredom, money problems (related to the very strong crisis in France and Belgium), finally sex... Compared to the reasons of Russians and Ukrainians, there is a very significant difference in the reasons. In a leisure society, the person is indeed turned towards himself and the pleasures, he must take care of himself, distract himself, in the East the considerations are rather to live, earn money, raise children, even in some cases survive (with several jobs). The lack of sex as one of the main reasons in Eastern countries also shows a gap between people in the East and the West. In my own experience I met two women in my Canadien environment who had told me that they had abandoned their husbands, the first because the husband was not sexually active enough (this woman was 31 years old), the second because her husband did not have a big enough genital area... (this woman was 35 years old). But CQMI members will have little chance of meeting divorced women similar to those they left in Canada, United States, Australia or United Kingdom, quite the contrary they will certainly meet those who have been deceived in different ways in old relationships.
Who decides on divorce in Russia and Ukraine?
This is an interesting thing, but there are also differences in the divorce decision between the West and the Eastern countries. In Canada, 66% of divorces are motivated by women... they leave their husbands on their own initiative, while in Russia 57% of divorces are motivated by women. This gap exists because in Russia and Ukraine, women do not have the possibility of completely stripping a husband, and according to the testimony of Oleg Sukhov, president of the Moscow Family Arbitration Court, divorce courts do not deal with the reasons for divorce and do not take protective measures to preserve the family. Men and women are not entitled to compensatory allowances (to make up the sudden difference in lifestyle), women if they get a pension are not paid by their husbands (in Ukraine it is different according to the video above), either from departure or in the months or years that follow, and procedures are weak and slow on this particular point. This situation therefore benefits men, while in the West women are largely favored and men are stigmatized. I myself experienced it personally and in my own testimony, the opposing party was asking for support from 70% of my own income, reduced to 45%, fortunately obtained only 30%. However, this method of calculation does not take into account the future difficulties of men, i.e. that in addition to this pension, the man will have to find a place to live, pay all his expenses, his taxes (without benefiting from the children's shares) etc. However, it is also true that unlike Russian couples, Western men can request and obtain alternate custody, and sometimes even full custody of children (12%, 17% alternate custody, 71% maternal custody in Canada), which amounts to a lower weight and a better distribution of the charges on both parents in the West. Conclusion, Russian and Ukrainian women are more likely to leave than men, but they are hesitant and fragile in divorce situations. It is mainly these women that you will find as members of the CQMI, courageous women, who have suffered caustic men and addicts. In Russia and Ukraine, they decide on divorce fairly quickly, married younger than in the West (although the gap is narrowing with the West), 40% of divorces take place in the first 4 years of the marriage, the time period is very short, and 37% of divorces take place between 5 and 10 years of marriage. In Russia many more men also seek divorce, being in a position of strength as we have seen, privileged by quick and advantageous procedures, they then often disappear into the wild, leaving women and children who often will never see him again. This will not prevent her from creating a new family with wife and children, having just changed her partner for one reason or another of comfort. Beauty standards have little or no place in the Russian couple, who are looking for a woman who is friendlier, more docile, less spending, less active and more in "her hand".
But then which countries are the most divorced in the world?
To find out, it is not only a question of looking at divorces in each country, but also of correlating the figures, namely, the number of marriages, with the population of these countries and the number of divorces. According to this new calculation a new map appears of the world. It is therefore well known that the countries of the former Soviet Union, the USSR, are much more affected than Western countries: Russia (2nd in the world), Belarus (5th), Lithuania (8th), Ukraine (9th), Moldova (10th), Kazakhstan (12th). By comparison, despite poor figures on the number of marriages (although the West is getting married less), Luxembourg is far behind (29th), Belgium (32nd), Canada (36th), Switzerland (42nd), France (51st). Do these figures mean that Slavic women will divorce more than Western women? They will marry more than Western women, but will divorce in proportion to marriages and population much more. In the case of national marriages, they will divorce less on their own than Western women, remaining more faithful and leaving for reasons that are often more serious than Western women. However, in the case of mixed marriages, the latter hold much better the distance, because it is also a second marriage in many cases, a larger investment when the couple leaves, but also a better osmosis due to many factors. In fact, these mixed marriages last longer in the USA and Canada than in France. But the article forgets to mention the reasons: in France the main providers of mixed partners to French people are the two Maghreb countries, Algeria and Tunisia, marriages sealed by white marriages, grey marriages and those bursting following the too great cultural difference and the pressure of religious beliefs. In France and Switzerland alone, the proportion of mixed marriages reaches 35% of marriages celebrated with citizens of these countries, but there is a lack of serious investigations into the future of mixed couples. What seems certain, however, is the increased difficulty of divorce procedures in the case of mixed couples and depending on the countries concerned, and the solidity of marriages between Slavic women and Francophone men divorcing much less than the average (25% vs. 45%).
What can be deduced from the figures and members of the CQMI Agency?
The conclusions drawn from this survey are above all that CQMI members are often divorced men or men who have experienced one or more separations in a cohabitation situation. On the other hand, Ukrainian and Russian women are in the same situation, but the differences will have been as follows: the members will often have been unloaded by their Western wives for the wrong reasons, or because they were in the sad pattern of our consumer society and its psychological and sociological failings. Russian-speaking members will leave less often than Western women, but will often have done so for excellent reasons, alcoholic husbands, addicts, lazy, dissolved, immature, threatening children, often endangering them by their behaviors, sometimes by their violence especially more often physical. However, it should be noted that domestic violence is not a record in the countries we treat, France, Russia, Ukraine, Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg being at the same level, with Canada as a good student. But that alcohol consumption is a recognized plague in several of the countries mentioned, namely Moldova (19.2 litres of pure alcohol per year and per inhabitant), Russia (15.7), Ukraine (15.6), Belarus (15.1), Lithuania (15), France (13.7), Luxembourg (13), Kazakhstan (11), Switzerland (10.9), Belgium (10.8), however, the list of risks of death and illness due to alcohol consumption increases significantly with alcohol consumption, so mortality is higher in countries where spirits and strong alcohols are more consumed, in these countries, Belarus, Russia, Ukraine and Moldova the devastation is greater. Members may also be widowed early due to high male mortality (especially on the roads). In this area, the mortality rates for Europe and the Americas highlight the bad students of Russia (rate of 18.75), Belgium (6.48), Canada (5.8) and France (5.18). These few examples show significant differences and a combination of interests between an honest man from the Englsh-speaking West and a woman who is divorced or not divorced from the Eastern countries. We invite you to visit the CQMI YouTube channel, the podcast series very useful for members, and of course our website and articles! To meet you in our ranks, I thank you for your touching loyalty.
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A étudié à CQPNL Centre québécois de PNL