John met a Ukrainian girl - Trip to Poltava, Ukraine in August 2017

In the series of testimonials from our clients with literary talent, after Nicolas and Julien, here is the very interesting testimony of John who lives in New York and who traveled this summer to Poltava to make a single meeting with a single lady registered with our marriage partner in Poltava. John was particularly impressed by the professionalism of his assistant, so much so that he wished to pay a heartfelt tribute to him through this article, very well written. Although the result of his trip has not been successful, he has learned some great lessons from this trip. He shares his experience with CQMI:

(PART I: Tribute to my assistant Svitlana)

I spent a little more than a week in Ukraine in August as part of the Explorer package proposed by the CQMI, designed for those of its customers who have made the choice to do very few meetings. As far as I'm concerned, I only had one woman to meet, because when I have someone in mind, the other women are like under the extinguisher, whatever their objective qualities. I am like this. I had asked the CQMI the address of the hotel where the agency has its habits, and it was the right thing to do in terms of price and convenience. I traveled to Kiev three days in advance to take my marks with the places, to rest, to prepare well the meeting with the assistant and to be in the best conditions on D-Day.

Regarding the single Russian bride, I had selected, Olga *, I prefer to keep for myself the details of our meeting (our meetings more exactly, since we saw each other twice). I will only say that it has not been a success, and that the work of the agency is not at issue here. I do not think that neither I nor Olga were completely ready, either psychologically or materially (I am preparing for an expatriation in Russia), so that the meeting will not really take place. I think a meeting is also a moment, and I think that moment has not come for me yet. It will take me a few more months.

My testimony will focus on the work of the assistant or translator.

I really liked the videos with Natalia, Nadia, Svitlana, Vera and the others CQMI translators. It is largely these videos that decided me to use the services of CQMI. Seeing them, I felt that these women selected by the agency were people who were full of discernment, finesse and kindness, and that gave me confidence. But I can really speak only of the assistant who accompanied me, Svitlana.

Svitlana is a friendly, thoughtful, discreet, diplomatic and very intelligent Slavic woman. What I saw of her in the videos was confirmed. And then she has humor, which you do not necessarily see in the videos, which are necessarily serious. We laughed a lot in the train that took us to Poltava, where we went to see Olga a few days after the first meeting in Kiev.

A link of deep trust between the client and the assistant.

My meeting with Svitlana was at the hotel restaurant, which has become our headquarters during my stay. We spent a lot of time preparing for the meeting with the lady in Poltava, and first to get to know each other. I felt quickly at ease with Svitlana, I quickly realized that I could give him everything I needed to tell him.

I wanted to take a lot of time for my assistant to know who I am, how I work, and how I got to where I am today in my search for love. I wanted her to have all the cards in hand so that my meeting with Olga goes at best, and then I felt the need to build a real complicity with my assistant to be able to really feel confident at the time of the meeting.

And that's what happened, we formed a good tandem. That energy and confidence was not enough to make it work with Olga, but I had the right things in my game.

Overall, apart from an error at the very end of the first meeting, I was able to show myself to my advantage. The assistance of Svitlana gave me enough serenity not to be too disturbed by the surprises and snags of the two meetings I had with Olga. For example, I was not destabilized by the great beauty of my lady when she was in front of me.

I also noticed that being at three in these meetings leaves as "breaths" to each of the two protagonists, means to deflate, to divert the pressure of the head-to-head.

I think that the presence of the assistant reassures both the participant and the client. (what Svitlana confirms in his last video)

A reassuring presence for the Ukrainian lady I met

I observed that Svitlana had the intelligence to play on the feminine and linguistic complicity to appear as a support for Olga too.

A complicit chatter settled between the two compatriots who contributed I think to relax the whole beginning of the first meeting. I think these pieces of discussion between them, which occurred punctually and that Svitlana did not translate, this blah without stakes made the meeting lighter and more reassuring for Olga. I also noticed that Svitlana sometimes called Olga with the diminutive affectionate Oletchka when she spoke to her on the phone during our visit to Poltava.

I believe that the language barrier may paradoxically have some advantages, in the sense that the adherent may feel freer in his expression. I knew after each of the two meetings that Olga had confided small things during these bubbles of "private" dialogues at the heart of the meeting - and I was informed of course by Svitlana what was there. useful to remember from their exchanges.

So clues to take into account on the state of mind of the adherent, a pole to grasp, or a discreet warning to hear, can emerge from small moments where the client chat with the assistant.

The use of the assistant is therefore much more than the indispensable translation. There is a real bond of trust between the client and her. There is also a welcome complicity that can be created between the assistant and the member. And then the assistant is also the contribution of a look and a Slave woman's opinion on our actions.

A woman's look and advice on our actions

A look always benevolent obviously but also vigilant, which can correct and improve what you do not notice in your appearance or your attitude but that a slave woman sees her.

For example, if you are dressed too relaxed or on the contrary too formal, your assistant will see it and can help you to correct the shooting. In my case, for the second meeting with Olga I slightly completed my locker room with Svitlana who found me dressed too strict. (see the CQMI seduction tips)

Before, during, after the meeting, if you have a doubt, if you are wondering if you have made a mistake, if you have correctly analyzed or misinterpreted a situation, a sentence, etc., you will not find yourself cogitating or brooding completely. alone in front of you.

You will have an opinion, another look at what has happened and therefore answers that will help you relativize your worries, to digest faster a failure, to take you back to earth if your emotions get drunk too much, or to correct your mistakes if you have made mistakes.

Conclusion

The assistant, if you let her do her job, will be the reassuring presence, the feminine look, the informant and the precious ally who will guide you throughout your dating. She will also be a caring confidante when you feel the need.

We know that a relaxed and confident man is much more attractive than a man who doubts or cogitates. The assistance of Svitlana gave me a precious serenity that allowed me to show myself to my advantage in Ukraine.

(PART II - About gallantry)

Practice integrating reflexes of gallantry

Your assistant is there, watchful, observing everything, feeling the situations, always ready to inform you and help you to correct the situation. But she cannot quite everything of course, and I would like to speak now of an error that I made, forgetting a gallant gesture, that with a little training I would have had the reflex to have .

As you know Slavic women are not tactile with strangers: at first no kisses, no hand tight. Physically they keep their distance. In addition, you are in a country whose language you do not understand, which places you permanently in a slight wait. Your meeting will take place in a café or restaurant. At the table, you will always be a little late because you have to translate the menu, what the waitress says, what the member says. The slight shift in translation and the fact of having to restrain my bodily spontaneity with a Slav woman accentuated in my behavior a somewhat wait and passive attitude with Olga.

But I understood after the first meeting that I had been too passive.

The Ukrainian or Russian woman with whom you have an appointment will be much more physically distant than an American woman, but in fact, I realized in Kiev with Olga, at the same time she waits to feel surrounded by your presence. And in a way that we are totally unaware here in USA, which is absolutely unnatural to us: the Slavic women expect us to be knights servants for them, that we are, with natural, constantly in the cares with them. If you do not practice it before, I think you will forget to make these gallantry gestures during the meeting, because your natural, your western habits will take over.

The gestures of gallantry must all the more become automatic, natural, that they seem contradictory with the fact that the man, at the same time, must not be in a tactile proximity with the woman.

Gallantry is learned, it can be learned by practicing it, and I did it after my first meeting with Olga.

I trained with Svitlana, and at the second meeting I was ok on that side. In practice it gives that: having the reflex to open the door to your elected, have the reflex to help him to remove and then put on his coat, to pull the chair to help him to sit, then constantly watch out what his glass or cup is full, etc ...

Another example: if the assistant has called a taxi for the participant, you will have to stay by her side waiting for the vehicle, then you open the door of the vehicle, and of course you will thank her for this meeting.

I was talking about an error I made at the very end of my first meeting with Olga. Not having opened the taxi door was the mistake, and Olga, I learned it after, was very irritated!

Even though the taxi in question, which we were all looking for, was in fact already there, parked very tightly between two cars, and it was rather he who had been casual in not noting himself to us, then not not stepping forward, Olga felt completely neglected, forgotten by me because I was three meters away from her to look for the taxi instead of being at her side. It's impressive the difference in perception between East and West about things like this.

Other examples: if you took the taxi together, going out first, you reach out to help get out of the vehicle (a natural exception to the rule of non-touch). If it has a bag or a heavy object to wear, you propose - or make the gesture to propose - to relieve it, etc etc ...

Some observations on hygiene to finish.

Russians and Ukrainians are known to wash their hands frequently and to be very clean. Besides, we do not say «Where are the toilets?», It is considered as frankly rude to evoke the place where to do one's natural needs. They say, "Where can I wash my hands? ". Similarly, we do not blow ourselves in public.

So if the member hands you an alcohol wipe for the hands, do not say "No, thank you", thank you there and clean your hands in front of her, even if they are impeccable. We are not prepared to behave like knights. As this behavior is unnatural for the current Western man, I think that the agency should perhaps provide a little training by exercising for two hours all customers on site, with their assistant as sparring partner.

This learning of gallantry is a simple return to our sources in truth, because the East has become as the sanctuary of universal gallantry ... which was forged in France in the Middle Ages, perfected in the 17th century, circulated worldwide and constantly refined ... before being unlearned to our parents.