Friday, 01 April 2016 16:08

A Russian woman does not think (always) like you!

A Russian woman does not think like you Matchmaking agency CQMI

When you decided to register in a Matchmaking agency to meet your wife in Ukraine or Russia, you also accepted tacitly that this woman does not have the same way of thinking. Cultural diversity is really an asset in your future relation as long as you are ready to accept surprises.


The inferiority complex

Far too often I realize that men feel themselves in a low level position when they meet a beautiful sophisticated Russian bride. She lives in a big city, wears beautiful dress, high heels, and you think that this woman is far too sophisticated for you. Before even starting a conversation or a chain of letter, you feel a lack of confidence in yourself mixed with fears. What you do not even suspect is that the beautiful Russian woman is also worried, at least as much as you are! She asks herself if she is dressed enough for you. Seeing your indecision and fears she starts to doubt in you and herself. You both start to invent fears and thoughts that you attribute one another. These are the worse ingredient to start a successful relationship.

The real life in Ukraine or Russia

You hardly know anything about the real life of these eastern European women in Russia or Ukraine. Please be aware that your life in France or Canada is like a fairy tale if you compare with the life of ordinary people in the suburbs of Kiev, Moscow, Saint-Petersburg. Two hours in the metro to go to work in the center twice a day, a small tiny apartment in a grey depressive building, unemployed men drinking beer or vodka nearby, contrast with the beautiful Canadian towns and villages located in beautiful scenery.

Canadian Countryside

Don’t you honestly think that this beautiful Russian bride that you just met, would prefer to wake up in a beautiful village in Canada, close to a lake. Don’t you think that life in Val d’Or, Sept-Iles, Rivière-du-loup, and many other beautiful place in Canada are the dream of a lot of people around the world? Canada is one of the most beautiful country in the world where quality of life is one of the best in the world.

So in the end, what do you really know about the reality of these beautiful Slavic women? Not much until you start to share their day-to-day life. So please instead of placing false interpretations in their mind you should be more prudent and listen carefully to what they say. Listening carefully you will forgot about your own personal fears.

In order to understand the mentality of Russian and Ukrainian women please watch our interview online

 

Mentality difference East-West

In the years after the fall of communism lazy Ossis met arrogant Wessis, there were lots of prejudices and misunderstandings. And today? Do the typical Ossi and the typical Wessi still exist?

Elmar Brähler doesn't really know what to say, it takes a few seconds until he answers. He was asked whether it makes sense to separate East and West if one wants to examine the psyche of the Germans. Now, in 2015, in Germany, which has been reunited for 25 years. "Well," he says. He is ambivalent about this question. At some point, he continues, at some point it might be really good.

Elmar Brähler was Professor of Medical Psychology and Sociology at the University of Leipzig, and has been retired for two years. His name stands for the Sächsische Langzeitstudie (Saxon Long-Term Study), a study that began in the GDR.

In 1987, the Leipzig Central Institute for Youth Research had recruited about 1,300 pupils from eight classes to ask them annually about their academic achievements, their expectations for the future and, of course, their political attitude.

Then came the turning point. Brähler's team simply continued the long-term study, in later analyses he regularly included West Germans in order to be able to compare the data. To this day, the study is one of the few worldwide with a duration of over 25 years, and the only one that reflects the experience of the Germans after reunification over the entire period.

Five years after reunification, there was still nothing to be seen in the data about the merging of East and West Germany - on the contrary. The East Germans described themselves as modest and found the West Germans arrogant, they considered themselves softer and the West Germans harder, themselves more disciplined and the West Germans bloated.

There were also differences in life satisfaction: While the East Germans were more satisfied with their partner, friends and family, the West Germans were more satisfied with material things.

The differences were more noticeable in these first years and had more weight than the similarities. The relationship between "Ossi" and "Wessi" was marked by misunderstandings and prejudices. Ossis shook hands to greet each other, because they regarded it as respectful and polite, Wessis found it intrusive and old-fashioned.

Differences became more and more drastic

Wessis complained about the "Jammerossi", Ossis about the mask-like superficiality of West. Ossis believed that Western people would put themselves in the centre and not the thing, Wessis thought that Eastern people were incompetent and small-minded.

Over time this seemed to become more and more drastic. A study by social psychologist Ursula Pientkowski of the University of Münster almost ten years after reunification showed that at that time there were still clear differences in values between East and West. East Germans considered material values to be less important and values that were oriented towards social interaction to be more important, while West Germans still viewed it the other way round.

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